A Hindu wedding is called vivaha and the wedding ceremony is called vivaha sanskar in north India. Hindus attach a great deal of importance to marriages. The ceremonies are very colorful, and celebrations may extend for several days. The bride's and groom's home – entrance, doors, wall, floor, and roof – are often decorated with colors, balloons and other decorations. The rituals and process in a Hindu wedding vary widely. Nevertheless, there are a few key rituals common in north Indian Hindu weddings – kanyadaan, panigrahana, and saptapadi, which are respectively, giving away of daughter by the father, voluntarily holding hand near the fire to signify union, and taking seven steps where each step includes a promise to each other before the fire.
The north Indian Hindu wedding ceremony at its core is essentially a vedic yajna ritual (fire ritual). The primary witness of a Hindu marriage is the fire deity Agni (sacred fire or fire god). The ceremony is traditionally conducted entirely, or at least partially in Sanskrit, considered by Hindus as the language of holy ceremonies.
Ancient Hindu literature, such as Asvalayana Grhyasutra and Atharvaveda, identify eight forms of marriages. The most prevalent type is the Brahma (creator god) marriage in which the father finds an educated man, proposes the marriage of his daughter to him. The groom, bride and families willingly concur with the proposal. The two families and relatives meet, the girl is ceremoniously decorated, the father gifts away his daughter in betrothal, and a Vedic marriage ceremony is conducted. This type of wedding is what we will be doing on the 15th.
There is no single standard Hindu marriage ceremony. Regional variations and considerable flexibility in the rituals are prevalent. The variations may be based on family traditions, local traditions, resources of the marrying families, and other factors. Some of the key rituals are performed in slightly different ways in different regions. Our wedding starts with the milne (meeting) and swagatam (welcome) ceremonies. This ritual is where the baraat (groom's procession party) arrives at the bride's home or the location where the bride is and marriage will be celebrated. The baraat typically includes dancing and joyous members of groom's family, relatives and friends. On their arrival, there is a ritual where key persons from the groom's side and bride's side are introduced to each other. The introduction is typically followed by jai mala (garland exchange between bride and groom) and a reception in which food and drinks are being served. These are a few key rituals which will be a part of our wedding ceremony:
kanyadaan - the giving away of daughter by the father.
panigrahana - a ritual in presence of fire, where the groom takes the bride's hand as a sign of their union.
rajaham - brothers blessing with rice.
gath bandhan - tying of the knot.
saptapadi - is the most important ritual. It is called the seven step ritual, where each step corresponds to a vow groom makes to bride, and a vow the bride makes to groom. The vows are pronounced in Sanskrit in long form, or a short quicker form. In many weddings, saptapadi is performed near a fire and after each of the seven oaths to each other, the groom and bride perform the ritual of
agnipradakshinam - walk around the fire, with the end of their garments tied together. The groom usually leads the bride in the walk.
jalastchana - blessing by the parents of bride and groom.
sindhoor - putting of red dot by groom on bride’s forehead as mark of being a wedded woman.
aashirvaad - on completion of ceremony this is the blessings given by the parents of bride and groom to the newly married couple.
Kanyadaan (kanya: girl, daan: to give):
The kanyadaan ceremony is performed by the bride’s parents. The parents bring the daughter, then take the bride's hand and place it into the groom's. This marks the beginning of the ceremony of giving away of the bride. The groom accepts the bride's hand, while the kama sukta (hymn to love) is pronounced, in the presence of the father, the bride and the groom. The kama sukta verse is:
Who offered this maiden?, to whom is she offered?
Kama (the God of love) gave her to me, that I may love her.
Love is the giver, love is the acceptor.
Enter thou, the bride, the ocean of love.
With love then, I receive thee.
May she remain thine, thine own, O God of love.
Verily, thou art, prosperity itself.
May the heaven bestow thee, may the earth receive thee.
After this ritual recital, the father asks the groom to not fail the girl in his pursuit of dharma (moral and lawful life), artha (wealth) and kama (love). The groom promises to the bride's father that he shall never fail her in his pursuit of dharma, artha and kama. The groom repeats the promise three times.
The groom's promises to bride's father marks the end of the kanyadaan ritual in hindu wedding.
Panigrahana
The ritual of panigrahana comes after kanyadana. Sometimes, this ritual is preceded by vivaha homa rite, wherein a symbolic fire is lit by the groom to mark the start of a new household. Panigrahana is the 'holding of the hand' ritual as a symbol of their impending marital union, and the groom announcing his acceptance of responsibility to four deities: Bhaga signifying wealth, Aryama signifying heavens or milky way, Aavita signifying radiance or new beginning, and Purandhi signifying wisdom. The groom faces west, while the bride sits in front of him with her face to the east, he holds her hand while the following rig vedic mantra is recited:
I take thy hand in mine, yearning for happiness.
I ask thee, to live with me, as thy husband
Till both of us, with age, grow old.
Know this, as I declare, that the Gods
Bhaga, Aryama, Savita and Purandhi, have bestowed thy person, upon me
that I may fulfill, my dharmas of the householder, with thee.
This I am, that art thou
The Saman I, the Rc thou
The heavens I, the earth thou
Rajaham (sacrifice to the sacred fire)
The bride places both her hands into the groom’s and her brother then places rice into her hands. Together the bride and groom offer the rice as a sacrifice into the fire.
Gath Bandhan (tying of the nuptial knot)
The scarves placed around the bride and groom are tied together symbolizing their eternal bond. This signifies their pledge before God to love each other to remain faithful.
Saptapadi (sapta: seven, padi: steps)
The saptapadi, is the most important ritual of vedic hindu weddings, and represents the legal part of hindu marriage. Sometimes called saat phere (seven rounds),couple conduct seven circuits of the holy fire (Agni), which is considered a witness to the vows they make to each other. A piece of clothing or sashes worn by the bride and groom are tied together for this ceremony. The first six circuits are led by the bride, and the final one by the groom. With each circuit, the couple makes a specific vow to establish some aspect of a happy relationship and household for each other. These vows are as follows:
first step: to respect and honor each other
second step: to share each other’s joy and sorrow
third step: to trust and be loyal to each other
fourth step: to cultivate appreciation for knowledge, values, sacrifice and service
fifth step: to reconfirm their vow of purity, love family duties and spiritual growth
sixth step: to follow principles of dharma
seventh step: to nurture an eternal bond of friendship and love
After the seventh step, the two become husband and wife.
Jalastchana (blessing of the couple)
The parents of the bride and groom bless the wedded couple by dipping a rose in water and sprinkling it over the couple.
Sindhoor (red powder)
The groom applies a small dot of vermilion, a red powder, to the bride’s forehead and welcomes her as his partner for life. It is applied for the first time to a woman during the marriage ceremony when the bridegroom himself adorns her with it.
Aashirvad (parental blessing)
The parents of the bride and groom give their blessings to the couple. The couple touches the feet of their parents as a sign of respect.